Tacomaness.com: Adopt a Seattleite

Adopt a Seattleite

So we have this idea. Why not invite some of our friends, or complete strangers from King County down to Tacoma for a day or evening and show them what they’ve been missing.

First we should call our friends or find a place to post our invitation to some strangers. Second we need to find a group Tacomans willing to adopt these brave Seattleites…
And lastly we should create a handy list of responses everyone can use to counter any excuses or questions one might get.

S. Why would I want to come down to Tacoma?
T. Because there’s more to Tacoma than the T-dome and Mall you pass on I-5, we’ll show you.

S. Alright, what is there to do in Tacoma?
T. Where to start. The arts, good music, great food, and plenty to drink. Why what do you usually do in Seattle?

S. Okay but Its so far south!
T. Yea its about the same distance I drive every time I come up to see you!

S. But doesn’t it smell in Tacoma?
T. No, what you smell is Fife!

S. Is it safe to be out on the streets in Tacoma? Won’t I get shot??
T. Yes its safe. I hardly ever get shot.

If they are they still unsure, for a limited time only Tacomaness.com is providing custom apparel that will guarantee a safe and fun time in Tacoma. This stylish gear lets everyone know, “It’s my first time in Tacoma and I’m a little afraid so please be nice to me”

You are 100% safe in Tacoma

So what do you say? Are you up ready to adopt a Seattleite? Head on over to the forum and let us know.

Posted By: James

tacoma | | Apr 06, 2006

Comments

lmao – this is superb.


sarah    May 16, 06:54 PM    #

i volunteer to rob said seattlites at knifepoint, just so they think we’re an intimidating crime-ridden dump. always wanted to live in one of those.


Statch    May 16, 09:57 PM    #

As a former Tacoman – a Tacoman may wish to wear the shown vest above for a visit to Seattle’s White Center after dark or First Hill (any time of day/night) to feel more secure) – even so, as a newer Tacoma tranplant I like being planted in my new home in W. Seattle.

I can honestly find many wonderful things in Tacoma, but I’m not sad to have left. Now, I’m closer the the beach, mountains, Canada, local islands, San Juans, Parks , Dining, and don’t forget the wonderful Pike Place Market – fresh local everything from flowers to food and beyond. There is better pay, MUCH better public transportation and there are almost endless options for outdoor activities/ shopping/dining/events/etc. The cost of housing is the only penalty of living here, but by far makes up for everything else in my opinion.

I would have to shoot anyone that might try to kidnap me and hawl me back there (to Tacoma)- it’s such an economically depressed city – with equally depressed people.

Kicking and wailing I’d go – all the way to a little white padded room over in Lakewood at Western State. That’s my very biased personal opinion – though – but if you like to drink, clubs are plenty – Point Defiance is great (Owens Beach too) and The Narrows bridge is great to see at night and from the park in Gig Harbor.

As a Tacoma resident I received a bullet hole in my car three smashed windows (car) – random car stereo thefts, graffitti on residence (no, I’m not affiliated with a gang) – it was white – so they liked it, I guess and my next door neighbor watched as my car was being broken into (it didn’t occur to them to contact the police). This is the kind of city that if you left your home’s door or car unlocked – it means your stuff now belongs to anyone that might possibly want to take it (including the car).

The Tacoma Bus System – wider tacoma area and Lakewood) bus system is horrible and you may get to your desintation faster by walking or may need to get a ride to a bus stop if you live outside of downtown and beyond TCC or further out, since you never know if or when next bus might show up (it’s best to get to a stop about a 1/2hr early to make sure you catch something).

For some great people sarcastic (really, there are some truely decent, cool people still trapped in Tacoma for whatever reason), wonderful neighbors sarcastic – Tacoma! Yeah!

Please, stop the adoption Process! It’s just cruel and unusual punishment for any Seattleite (maybe nice for someone from say… Spanaway or… Bonney Lake) but if you want temporary custody; say… 2 days a month, that would be ok.


shutch    Jun 10, 05:25 PM    #

That guy isn’t invited!


Master B    Aug 25, 02:42 PM    #

didnt you guys know that crime does not happen in seattle, that not one person owns a gun in the entire city, and no one ever has their car broken into. it is the polar opposite of tacoma, the “economically depressed city – with equally depressed people.”

its people like shutch who make my happy to live in tacoma.


tactown    Sep 6, 01:16 PM    #

I was thinking about telling the 6 or 7 businesses on Pike St that are being forced out to make way for a new 96 unit condo complex to come on down to T Town…


Paul Larsen    Nov 30, 02:37 PM    #

Oh yeah. Then there’s that new “metro-natural” slogan that Seattle paid 200k for. It says, “METRO NATURAL” in 18 ft letters on the Space Needle (honestly). Thats a good reason to leave.


Paul Larsen    Nov 30, 02:42 PM    #

Where can I buy the flack jacket. Uber-chic.


lance    May 15, 03:07 PM    #
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